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I am still reliving a Grande Celebration from over a week ago. (Add an ‘e’ and it’s even Grander). My dearest and new dearest had the best nuptials I’ve ever experienced. Not just day of, weekend of! Way to go!!! Months before, I was getting a bit skeptical. Sometimes when you work so hard to make a great event, it never quite lives up to the hype. (Remember The Weekend at the 2021 Super Bowl?? Me either). However, the dearests got it all right and then some. They promised a weekend of love, family, friends, and celebration. Check check check check. We all got manis and pedis together. Even my Manfriend, who was new to that world, got into it and rejoiced in his shiny toes. (Okay, he didn’t actually rejoice but just testing if he’s still reading my blogue). Nothing bonds people like everyone seeing their grizzly feet. We hung out at the same hotel, and lamented together when our rooms weren’t ready. I still feel bad about crashing my dearests room and using his towels to clean up before the rehearsal and dinner. I mean it’s okay if he smells, right?? I could go on and on about all the fun and frolic, but do you really want to hear about my first time wearing false eyelashes?? I mean, who doesn’t, but a story for another day. Between family tragedy’s, Covid, and life trying to chew us up, for one wonderful weekend it was all behind us and we enjoyed this bubble. Even the weather gave the happy couple a wink and said well done my friends. Well done.

We’ve all been hearing about the new magical line of weight loss drugs. Once used for Type 2 Diabetes, it was discovered that people on them were also losing weight without much effort. So the geniuses figured out the key ingredient in them could be marketed solely for weight loss. Hallelujah!! Tryer that I am, I couldn’t wait weight weight to partake. Took a bit of maneuvering with my insurance company because they are quite expensive. I actually had to do some behind the scenes hobnobbing which even impressed my doctor. He said he’d prescribe it, but good luck getting it approved haha wink wink. I do have some wiley skills after all. Who knew? (Me). On my wayyyyy! Very excited to have found the holy grail of permanent weight loss. Then the book of side effects arrived with the injectable. The once a week injectable, which means if you are sick, you’re stuck. I’ll spare you the grisly details, but after two months, I had enough. Unlike the old school diet drugs I took that made you feel terrific, these did not. No high flying energy here. Quite the opposite. Yes, you lose weight. They make you feel full quickly after eating. And keep you full for longer which is the MO. But…. I think they were designed by skinny people. People with a weight problem can eat when they are full. I truly believe naturally thin people don’t do this. Which is why they are thin. So you really have to be highly motivated to consume less just like you would on a regular dieting plan. But I’m not sure the public is quite getting that part. Nothing magical, just a tool to help you eat less. And if you eat that whole cheeseburger, ugh. Page five, six, and seven of that side effect book. Not to mention weakness, tiredness, lethargy. Boy how I missed Dr. Hunters pills that kept you up for days with a smile on your face. (Biggest regret in life throwing those away….). Anyway, I stuck it out for two months, lost some lbs which is always nice, but at some point you miss feeling good. Plain and simple. It’s like you’re going through a treatment for a horrible disease, which obesity can be, but I’m not quite ready to admit to that. I still have a stash, and not hitting the trash just yet. Lesson learned. But there’s got to be a better way. The invasion of the body snatchers wasn’t the panacea I had hoped for. Will keep looking of course!! Once a tryer, always a tryer. I did learn something really invaluable. Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks. #gettingmysenseofhumorback #keptitoutofthetoilet

Not eating chocolate for a few weeks has really paid off. Or my mind is playing those tricks on me again. I’ve rationalized all (some) of my destructive behaviors, and coming out a winner winner chocolate dinner. Chicken. I mean chicken dinner. I’m heading to the beach, and ready to roll with the tide. As if this floating machine has a choice. The beach is the only place where salt lowers my blood pressure. It’s good for you!! So good. So good. I never met a sunset I didn’t like, and I’m going to keep watching until I’m proved wrong. I’ve always believed the sun is a wonderfully powerful elixir, and until some horrible growth proves me wrong, I will continue to partake. Every stage of my life has benefited from big yellow. Acne runs and hides. My hair lightens and brightens, and actually thickens in the ocean. I think it absorbs salt from the water. I make the rules here. And I just heard Sunny D is now a vodka drink! Those marketers sure know how to grow-up. Talk about a health benefit! Added bonus there my Boomlennial brethren. The sand also does it’s due diligence by giving me a nice, little pedicure as it smooths out the rough edges. And keeps me walking comfortably barefoot. Ahhhh. There goes the positive vibes in my mind. If you read Winnie the Pooh, and you should, the advice he gives is pretty basic. Simple. Practical. Sensical. Like the beach. Mental health for dummies. Shell yeah!

If you brilliant Boomlennials haven’t heard about this yet, Google it. No don’t. I understood it until I hit up G, then I was underwater. Like most things that relate to technology or business, I get it, but let me take the multiple choice test. I saw it explained in lay woman terms on a talk show, and it is fascinating. And scary. The best way I can explain it is artificial intelligence that is also human. (Don’t quote me on that.). It’s a chat bot that knows what you want to say. Or something like that. For instance, if I wanted it to write my Boomlennial blogue, it could. Well maybe not, because I am multi-layered and endlessly fascinating. But I could ask it to write me a paper on what’s up with fifth graders, and it would. Immediately. Or any subject. It is an endless data base that seems to also have emotion. Or insight. Students are using it of course to write all their papers, but I heard teachers are using it even more for lesson plans, better ideas, and finally to know more then their students. It’s a giant encyclopedia that might not be one-hundred percent correct, but can spew out information faster then you can read it. I’m probably not explaining this right (probably???), but you’ll be hearing about it soon enough. All the tech companies are developing their own version, so wow. All I can say is keep up Boomlennials. I’m always wondering what the next big tech gizmo is going to be, but wonder no more. Just trying to explain it is beyond me, and you know that normally I know everything. Most things. (Everything). I kind of would like it to write my blogue, but what if it was better than mine???? Forget I ever mentioned this make believe, silly Chatwhatever. What do you call a fish with no eyes?? A fsh. Take that chatterbox!#$&#!!

I am so getting a dinosaur. I’m working on day twelve without chocolate, and I already lost hearing in my left eye. Tis that time of year (again, again) where the diet bug is looming large. As much as I like to pretend that I’m focusing on eating healthy, the body wants what the body wants. And it usually does not want anything low calorie, or green, or coming from the outside perimeter of the grocery store. I fight it constantly, and sometimes slay the dragon. I pat myself on the back for finally having things under control. I use the phrase ‘patting myself on the back’ loosely. Let’s say upper neck. I heard that fifty percent of children don’t eat a vegetable daily. Hilarious! I bet that stat is even higher for adults. Unless you count french fries and carrot cake. Just too much temptation out there. Back to me. There are all kind of great things happening in my world that would be a lot more enjoyable if I were less heavy. As all my millions of followers know, I never use the three letter F word. Very demeaning, and one of the few derogatory terms that is still socially acceptable. Movies and sitcoms still think it’s oh-so-funny to have a large character and make fun of them. Haha. Slap my ample thigh now and guffaw. You understand what is happening here, right?? Lack of chocolate. Cranky pants. Please don’t tell me to just have one piece. Guffaw guffaw. Would like to live in that world but don’t really see it happening. I’m also thinking this boomlennial population is getting less free range as their metabolism is slowing down. Some of those praying mantis types are looking more bubble bee these days. Of course that brings me much glee. (Remember, the no chocolate speaking here.). Will white knuckle through another day, and hope I don’t naw on them. Not believing Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong, it will. Have you heard of Cole’s Law?? Thinly sliced cabbage. Say is out loud if you’re not laughing yet. Still have my sense of humor. Ish. How does the moon cut his hair?? He e-clipses it. Funny stuff. #weakwithhunger #goalsgoalsgoals #wantadinosaur

Except it’s not. It’s February. And Valentines Day, sigh. So why are the Ides at my back? Of course, I had to google Ides to find out what I’m even talking about, and I don’t think it’s Julius Caesar getting assassinated. But since I like how it sounds, I’ll continue. The whole winter has had this Marchish feel to it. And if you’ve been keeping up with my fascinating blogue, you know I hate the color of March. Hence, the madness. I’ve been studying my house in bad lighting because of this March color, and I don’t like what I see. Somehow, it’s becoming an old persons house. This high-steppin Boomlennial does not like that!*&$! About fifteen years ago, I did a complete remodel. After living in the same house for twenty years, it was time. They say three moves is the same as a fire, but neither of those options over the years was my MO. So I ‘moved’ out, packed up or threw out. Emptied the house completely. Redid some bathrooms and kitchen, and lots-oh-cosmetics. Came back to a bright, fresh start. I loved it! Felt like a new house, but also the house I loved. Now. Now. Fifteen years later it’s getting tarnished again, and looking dated. And messy. Moss is growing back. (Not really, but metaphorically speaking. I’m not a bum.). Marie Kondo, a professional organizer (Really?? That’s a thing?) wrote a book. In it, she has six rules. Basics. But number six said to look at objects and see if they spark joy. If they don’t, heave ho. Good advice. A lot of things in my house Did spark joy, but after years they barely get a howdy do. What to do, what to do. Rekindle my romance with them?? Start a fire? Talk about our good times together? I used to make fun of ‘old’ people houses, but just a tad concerned that I’m heading in that direction. (Heading, I said. Plenty of wiggle room there.). Really just need to get outside in the sunshine. Oh, I’m a hoot. March madness has gotten to me. I need a chocolate heart. #lovethestuffyourewith

I love your eggs. I’ve been in that post-holiday funk where I’m really ready to attack the New Year. But, am I?? My mind says yes, but my robust body is stuck in that well that’s no fun mentality. The talk shows are throwing out the healthy year, healthy you rhetoric, and I listen listen and want to pump my fists and cheer, but those dueling wolves are at it again. There’s a great Cherokee parable about two wolves living inside us. One is all the bad stuff-evil, greed, anger, jealousy, resentment, and all the nasties. The other is the good stuff-joy, peace, kindness blah blah blah. So a little boy asks the wise Indian what wolf wins? Wait for it…..wait for it…. The one you feed. Get it? So my angst is trying to fend off the nasty wolf. I started journaling daily, figuring if you send out the positives into the universe, it will manifest itself like the gurus like to preach. But I’m realizing as the days go on, my writings have a tinge of growling in them. Come on, wolf! Give me break! No more jotting down evidence of my downturn. This time of year is always fraught with the dark uglies outside, so probably not the best time to try to change the world. Or yourself. Patience is probably in the good wolf’s arsenal. And wisdom. And perseverance. And strength. And hope. And truth. Hey, maybe I got this! I am enough. Actually, I’m probably over qualified, but let’s start out humble. Not today Devil. Not today.

Me: OMG same!

Not that I talk OUT LOUD, but I do have ongoing dialogue going on in my brain non-stop. Especially at 3am. I really shouldn’t worry about this too much, being that I am the most fascinating person I know. Lately, however, my wee dearest has been calling me out about odd stuff. Things that I never really thought about. Or realized there was anything wrong with #oldperson. One day she opened my pantry and was just astounded by how much food there was. Now I don’t eat at home much, but I guess it doesn’t stop me from shopping for ’just in case’. Just in case there is a blizzard and the streets aren’t cleared for a month. How would I ever make it that long mile to the store?? Just in case I get so sick I’m housebound and no one remembers me?? (I better start being nicer.) Just in case there is a pandemic and you are not supposed to leave the house. Okay that really happened but who wants to eat cans of soup during the stress of all that?? There really isn’t all that much, but when you add in the flour for baked goods you don’t make, side dishes for no main course, and every tea, jelly, and salsa from gift baskets that you will be eating during the blizzard, it does seem like a lot. Duly noted. The youngun thinks it’s weird, and that’s where I take my advice these days. Bisquick for dinner. With a side of ground mustard. But there’s more. I went to a Halloween ’do’ with that youngun and she was all about my costume, or lack thereof. For years I’ve worn the same skeleton earrings for every Halloween. I’m talking her lifetime, and much of mine when I felt the need to be festive. I’m not much for dressing up as an adult, but this year I bought an orange sweater with black bats and spiders. Really outdid myself for the ’do’. With the skeleton earrings, of course. At the end of the evening, my wee dearest told me that she appreciated my effort to wear something besides the earrings. She said I’ve been wearing them her whole life, and at least I did Something different. The backhanded compliment! She was picking her words carefully so as not to offend, and I thanked her for noticing my new sweater, but she was just about to shake her head. She knew I missed the point. It’s Halloween!! Make a splash! Yep. Got it. OUTLOUD. Next year I might have to abandon my old ideas about the holiday and really do it up like a fool. I can be taught. Okay, been saving this one. What do you call a wolf that has been to therapy?? Aware wolf. #sayitOUTLOUD #seehowfunIam

Unless you are really stressed or busy. Then make sure you get two. Ain’t that the truth. Now that the weather has taken an aggressive turn, I am already feeling the relief I get from being outdoors start to fizzle. This week I bundled up for my walk and thought I was safe. Windy with peeks of sun which I was determined to take advantage of. But…..I looked ahead of me and thought I was lost in the desert with a dust storm ablowin in. What I wasn’t prepared for were sheets of graupel pummeling me in the face. Graupel, much like grappa, is the mishmash of hail, sleet, snow, and ice. I prefer the seeds, stems, skins and leftovers of wine making to that sh*t and I just wasn’t mentally prepared. Felt rather assaulted. I prefer walking naked, which I found out a little too late is about not using technology on your excursion. I shouldn’t be such a trier without getting all the facts. I heard naked walking was trending, and I was all about it. Oops. No music, no Fitbit, yea yea get it now. Earthing, or grounding is also a thing, but I tread lightly with that one. BARE feet. Do the research first. There is all kinds of science behind it, about exchanging electricity with the earth, but I was just thinking of childhood. Who didn’t love to go barefoot as a child? Stones, prickers, and bees be damned. So in the morning when I would take my beast out, I’d really try to commune with the wet grass and be one with the world. Exchange my ions or whatever needed a reboot. Really try to find quiet peace with the universe. Until…..I realized the number of dogs I’ve taken out on said grass over most of my lifetime, not to mention the abundance of wildlife I share my yard with, and ewwwww. My communion with nature was just a bit too personal, electrons be damned. Next time I need grounded, I’ll also take the childhood route and go straight to my room. With clean feet. And some grappa. Get naked with the window open, and ponder the meaning of that word.

NOOOOOO!!!!! You know the Progressive commercial about how not to become your parents? Hilarious! Until I realized it is about US, and they are making fun of US. I only own up to one thing, but there are others I’m sure. And I’m working on it. I do have an annoying habit of asking adults if they have to pee before we go out. I guess I make sure I hit the head before I leave the house, and kind of think it’s a good idea. For me and my TODDLERS. But now I have that commercial saying we all know how the bathroom works. Wait till he has to go and there’s no potty in sight. I’ve also been calling out ’a very dear friend’,who shall remain nameless so he can continue to be ’a very dear friend’. He doesn’t care how he looks to those younguns, so I must be the attack dog he just loves (?) to hear from. Little things. Those lines you are supposed to park Between. Nope. Doesn’t care. Paying with cash? THROWS down so many bills and change the poor cashier doesn’t have a clue what to do with. No problem. Take the penny and add it to the twenty and subtract the ones and give me a quarter and a nickel back. Yep that all makes sense. To him. Change and money are all just handled differently these days. Go with the flow. Now I do have something the younguns do that I think is stupid. Yes, stupid. Although all people do it. If you only need a few things at the grocery store why do you carry that big, bulky basket around? First off, you’ll probably pick up another item or two. And that basket is heavy just empty. Push the cart. Does that only make sense to me?? Light, fast, and no sore arms. Don’t even get me started on how long self-checkout takes. Kind of fun, but slowwwww. I’m practicing, though, because I know that will be my only option soon enough. Guess that will get me to stop drinking so I don’t have to announce to six stations that I need my ID checked. The really sad thing about all this, however, is that I just proved their point. I am cranky pants. Little things get on my nerves. I/me/we are old(ish) Boomlennials. Nothing that anyone aspires to be. If everyday is a gift, today was socks.