But it’s a dry -1

The weather and discussion of it has gotten a bad wrap.  There are those (not the enlightened, sophisticated Boomlennial I’m sure) who use it for conversation when they got nothin or needing to change the subject.  How bout those Browns??  My go to.  When the Big Chill in the air chit chat comes up I start sweating with anticipation of more to come.  What about the Polar Vortex (also my late fishes name, may he rest in toilet bowl pieces) which was an attention grabber a few years ago.  And still excites me as I scan the frozen tundra maps hoping it makes a reappearance.  But generally people don’t really want to get into it.  I know.  How crazy is that??  Certainly not polite conversation in passing.  Let’s dig in.  What does it mean?  What are the repercussions?  When one of my wee dearests is visiting I’m pretty relaxed in my pretend parenting.  Are those scissors sharp enough for you or would a knife be better?  The dog doesn’t really need a tail.  He’s not a boat after all.  But shall we play in lotsandlots of water until you and the floor are soaked?  (Good thing my X follower isn’t reading anymore or I could be busted.).  BUT….when my wee dearest plays with my weather station that’s when I may or may not lose it.  (Just in case X is sneaking a peek.)  I need to know the temp in Akron, not Atlanta!?$!  And what is the wind speed I wonder in a panic.  The screen changes color with every ten degree threshold so when it’s blazing green I know something’s amiss when we’ve been tettering on a pale to vibrant purple the last few weeks.  Thankfully I can get it readjusted but there is some extremely important information gone in that thirty seconds. Whew.  So next time someone says it’s fricken cold out maybe it’s just a cry for help and they want to have more intimate discussion about it.  Or I need to get inside and realize the time for outsideish bloguing is over.  Must get inside and check what color temp makes your hands numb.  All fascinating stuff.

#notmetoo

So now that we’ve made it through round two of ‘the holidays’ we should be ready for more meat.  And I don’t mean turkey, ham, or lobster which seemed like a good idea at the time. Who knew that days later the fridge would reek, my hands are in shards, and my dog’s breath is very suspect.  No pine scent to be had.  I know I’ve let my million followers down (picked up a new one a few weeks ago) and he tried to be diplomatic in his review.  Interesting.  Different perspective.  I know what all that means so probably don’t have him back.  Which is ok.  He can still say he knew me when and I’ll sign my book for him.  In pencil.  Now that I’m totally off target I need to focus.  #notmetoo.   I have not been sexually harassed.  And I’m offended.  You like my dress?  Really?  That’s it!!  No comment about how sexy it makes me look??  Throw me a bone.  At least say it brings out the color of my eyes for gosh sakes.  Of course I’m being an ahole here but that’s kind of my schtick. There are, of course, many degrees of harassment and legitimate complaints but what happens in 1964 stays in 1964.  We were not a nice people then.  Different time, different place.  We were evolving and becoming civilized and I’m quite proud of who we are.  Woman have come a long way, baby, and if they don’t be careful they are going to face some backlash.  You want to be one of the guys?  Included in the boardroom and golf course and for after dinner cigars?  It wasn’t too long ago that men would retreat to another room so they could joke and laugh and not worry that they might be offensive.  So be careful of what you are trying to accomplish or you’re going to lose your place in line.  I, for one, don’t want to be sent back to 1964.  Of course you men cannot utter a word of this but I got your back.  I know you are not the fiends the media is trying to portray you as.  The actions of a few should not be representative of the masses.  And to almost quote Pamela Anderson (laughing to think I’ve come to the place where she’s my voice of reason)  when a man invites you to a hotel room for a meeting, shows up at the door in a robe, and you go in, that’s on you.  Take some responsibility.  That’s a use use situation.  This, of course, is a subject that can’t be covered in one brilliant blogue so go back to Facebook and look at everyone’s magical Christmas and beautiful families and the cookies with little chocolate kisses and make those resolutions.  I resolve to use paragraphs and not say of course so often.  I always have lofty goals of course.