Month: February 2023

I am so getting a dinosaur. I’m working on day twelve without chocolate, and I already lost hearing in my left eye. Tis that time of year (again, again) where the diet bug is looming large. As much as I like to pretend that I’m focusing on eating healthy, the body wants what the body wants. And it usually does not want anything low calorie, or green, or coming from the outside perimeter of the grocery store. I fight it constantly, and sometimes slay the dragon. I pat myself on the back for finally having things under control. I use the phrase ‘patting myself on the back’ loosely. Let’s say upper neck. I heard that fifty percent of children don’t eat a vegetable daily. Hilarious! I bet that stat is even higher for adults. Unless you count french fries and carrot cake. Just too much temptation out there. Back to me. There are all kind of great things happening in my world that would be a lot more enjoyable if I were less heavy. As all my millions of followers know, I never use the three letter F word. Very demeaning, and one of the few derogatory terms that is still socially acceptable. Movies and sitcoms still think it’s oh-so-funny to have a large character and make fun of them. Haha. Slap my ample thigh now and guffaw. You understand what is happening here, right?? Lack of chocolate. Cranky pants. Please don’t tell me to just have one piece. Guffaw guffaw. Would like to live in that world but don’t really see it happening. I’m also thinking this boomlennial population is getting less free range as their metabolism is slowing down. Some of those praying mantis types are looking more bubble bee these days. Of course that brings me much glee. (Remember, the no chocolate speaking here.). Will white knuckle through another day, and hope I don’t naw on them. Not believing Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong, it will. Have you heard of Cole’s Law?? Thinly sliced cabbage. Say is out loud if you’re not laughing yet. Still have my sense of humor. Ish. How does the moon cut his hair?? He e-clipses it. Funny stuff. #weakwithhunger #goalsgoalsgoals #wantadinosaur

Except it’s not. It’s February. And Valentines Day, sigh. So why are the Ides at my back? Of course, I had to google Ides to find out what I’m even talking about, and I don’t think it’s Julius Caesar getting assassinated. But since I like how it sounds, I’ll continue. The whole winter has had this Marchish feel to it. And if you’ve been keeping up with my fascinating blogue, you know I hate the color of March. Hence, the madness. I’ve been studying my house in bad lighting because of this March color, and I don’t like what I see. Somehow, it’s becoming an old persons house. This high-steppin Boomlennial does not like that!*&$! About fifteen years ago, I did a complete remodel. After living in the same house for twenty years, it was time. They say three moves is the same as a fire, but neither of those options over the years was my MO. So I ‘moved’ out, packed up or threw out. Emptied the house completely. Redid some bathrooms and kitchen, and lots-oh-cosmetics. Came back to a bright, fresh start. I loved it! Felt like a new house, but also the house I loved. Now. Now. Fifteen years later it’s getting tarnished again, and looking dated. And messy. Moss is growing back. (Not really, but metaphorically speaking. I’m not a bum.). Marie Kondo, a professional organizer (Really?? That’s a thing?) wrote a book. In it, she has six rules. Basics. But number six said to look at objects and see if they spark joy. If they don’t, heave ho. Good advice. A lot of things in my house Did spark joy, but after years they barely get a howdy do. What to do, what to do. Rekindle my romance with them?? Start a fire? Talk about our good times together? I used to make fun of ‘old’ people houses, but just a tad concerned that I’m heading in that direction. (Heading, I said. Plenty of wiggle room there.). Really just need to get outside in the sunshine. Oh, I’m a hoot. March madness has gotten to me. I need a chocolate heart. #lovethestuffyourewith