I am so getting a dinosaur. I’m working on day twelve without chocolate, and I already lost hearing in my left eye. Tis that time of year (again, again) where the diet bug is looming large. As much as I like to pretend that I’m focusing on eating healthy, the body wants what the body wants. And it usually does not want anything low calorie, or green, or coming from the outside perimeter of the grocery store. I fight it constantly, and sometimes slay the dragon. I pat myself on the back for finally having things under control. I use the phrase ‘patting myself on the back’ loosely. Let’s say upper neck. I heard that fifty percent of children don’t eat a vegetable daily. Hilarious! I bet that stat is even higher for adults. Unless you count french fries and carrot cake. Just too much temptation out there. Back to me. There are all kind of great things happening in my world that would be a lot more enjoyable if I were less heavy. As all my millions of followers know, I never use the three letter F word. Very demeaning, and one of the few derogatory terms that is still socially acceptable. Movies and sitcoms still think it’s oh-so-funny to have a large character and make fun of them. Haha. Slap my ample thigh now and guffaw. You understand what is happening here, right?? Lack of chocolate. Cranky pants. Please don’t tell me to just have one piece. Guffaw guffaw. Would like to live in that world but don’t really see it happening. I’m also thinking this boomlennial population is getting less free range as their metabolism is slowing down. Some of those praying mantis types are looking more bubble bee these days. Of course that brings me much glee. (Remember, the no chocolate speaking here.). Will white knuckle through another day, and hope I don’t naw on them. Not believing Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong, it will. Have you heard of Cole’s Law?? Thinly sliced cabbage. Say is out loud if you’re not laughing yet. Still have my sense of humor. Ish. How does the moon cut his hair?? He e-clipses it. Funny stuff. #weakwithhunger #goalsgoalsgoals #wantadinosaur