This whole subject might not be of total interst to my half million male followers, but it should be. If you have any females in your life it is of most importance. Okay, second most. Are you still here?? I’m talking about black tights season. I’ve waited all spring and summer for this and not just for me but the women in my world who could use a little something something. I’ve found it of extra importance this year because my pup/cow likes to ram into my legs creating blotches and bloody holes that nobody needs to see. This week has been particularly rough because he’s wearing the cone of shame after a nip snip that he should be proud of since it shows all those b*tches that he is a caring, responsible male. But being that I’m the only b*tch in his life he has been battering me with that cone and it hurts! All those half moon bruises aren’t making me respect his decision. Black tights ahhhh. Pantyhose are out of style but that is something I’m hoping comes back and I’m counting on men to encourage their ladies to wear them. As much as the Boomlennial woman and her younger compadres might think they look good naked legged, they don’t. Tatoos can be attractive, but when they have matching lines and lumps and stuff not out of an ink bottle it’s just kind of ewwwww. Then the lumpiness moves up to the a$$ which could just benefit from something to support all that jiggle. Princess Kate always has a nice pair of shiny legs and should be our role model. Who never wanted to be a princess, right? So join the movement. Black Tights Matter.