Aging Disgracefully

I am the voice of our Boomlennial generation. Or so I say. I like to control the narrative, and my millions of followers seem to be okay with that. We are not the baby boomers yapping on about bucket lists and happy places. Boomlennials have it together, and don’t need anyone to tell them how to behave. But oh darn. I’m starting to feel some strange air across my neck. It started slowly. I don’t want an Apple Watch. I know when I’m breathing and not sleeping. Yes, I eat too much cheese and use too little sunscreen, but I don’t need a vitamin D supplement. So many of my peeps have taken dry January to a whole new level. Just because they want to. Huh? Guess it’s a thing. When I was told that you don’t have to use the largest setting on the Keurig machine, I was baffled. Who knew those three buttons were different sizes? Sadly, everyone. None of these things are major affronts, but they seem to be adding up to not being as cool as I thought. And I think I am chill beyond measure. Until…..the teenage neighbor and his friends were in my pool and hot tub at one in the morning on Labor Day. First, I turned the outside light on. Waited. Did they think I was helping them see the slide. Didn’t leave. Then…..I actually let my dog out. I mean he really really really had to go. Really. He is gentle, but his bark is not. They bolted. And I went out and puffed around the yard like I made some major conquest. They shouted some F-you obscenities at me, which made me smile. At the time. Now……maybe I overreacted. The dog??? True that I didn’t want kids in the pool that may or may not have been having too much holiday celebration. But still. Might try a different tactic next time. Like calling the police. Kidddding! It is a slippery slope I fear I’m sliding down, though. I know I’m never going to be a Disney princess, but Evil Queen is now within my grasp. Not very Boomlennial of me humph. Then, my beloved football team is talking about building a new stadium. Everyone is a twitter about whether it should be a dome, and where should it be located. My first thought was who says ‘a twitter’. My second thought was I’ll probably not be around to enjoy it anyway so what do I care? I care!! I care a lot and I want to still care. About everything! I need to hit that Boomlennial reset button and keep on keeping on, man. Now how cool is that? Ugh.