Month: October 2022

Me: OMG same!

Not that I talk OUT LOUD, but I do have ongoing dialogue going on in my brain non-stop. Especially at 3am. I really shouldn’t worry about this too much, being that I am the most fascinating person I know. Lately, however, my wee dearest has been calling me out about odd stuff. Things that I never really thought about. Or realized there was anything wrong with #oldperson. One day she opened my pantry and was just astounded by how much food there was. Now I don’t eat at home much, but I guess it doesn’t stop me from shopping for ’just in case’. Just in case there is a blizzard and the streets aren’t cleared for a month. How would I ever make it that long mile to the store?? Just in case I get so sick I’m housebound and no one remembers me?? (I better start being nicer.) Just in case there is a pandemic and you are not supposed to leave the house. Okay that really happened but who wants to eat cans of soup during the stress of all that?? There really isn’t all that much, but when you add in the flour for baked goods you don’t make, side dishes for no main course, and every tea, jelly, and salsa from gift baskets that you will be eating during the blizzard, it does seem like a lot. Duly noted. The youngun thinks it’s weird, and that’s where I take my advice these days. Bisquick for dinner. With a side of ground mustard. But there’s more. I went to a Halloween ’do’ with that youngun and she was all about my costume, or lack thereof. For years I’ve worn the same skeleton earrings for every Halloween. I’m talking her lifetime, and much of mine when I felt the need to be festive. I’m not much for dressing up as an adult, but this year I bought an orange sweater with black bats and spiders. Really outdid myself for the ’do’. With the skeleton earrings, of course. At the end of the evening, my wee dearest told me that she appreciated my effort to wear something besides the earrings. She said I’ve been wearing them her whole life, and at least I did Something different. The backhanded compliment! She was picking her words carefully so as not to offend, and I thanked her for noticing my new sweater, but she was just about to shake her head. She knew I missed the point. It’s Halloween!! Make a splash! Yep. Got it. OUTLOUD. Next year I might have to abandon my old ideas about the holiday and really do it up like a fool. I can be taught. Okay, been saving this one. What do you call a wolf that has been to therapy?? Aware wolf. #sayitOUTLOUD #seehowfunIam

Unless you are really stressed or busy. Then make sure you get two. Ain’t that the truth. Now that the weather has taken an aggressive turn, I am already feeling the relief I get from being outdoors start to fizzle. This week I bundled up for my walk and thought I was safe. Windy with peeks of sun which I was determined to take advantage of. But…..I looked ahead of me and thought I was lost in the desert with a dust storm ablowin in. What I wasn’t prepared for were sheets of graupel pummeling me in the face. Graupel, much like grappa, is the mishmash of hail, sleet, snow, and ice. I prefer the seeds, stems, skins and leftovers of wine making to that sh*t and I just wasn’t mentally prepared. Felt rather assaulted. I prefer walking naked, which I found out a little too late is about not using technology on your excursion. I shouldn’t be such a trier without getting all the facts. I heard naked walking was trending, and I was all about it. Oops. No music, no Fitbit, yea yea get it now. Earthing, or grounding is also a thing, but I tread lightly with that one. BARE feet. Do the research first. There is all kinds of science behind it, about exchanging electricity with the earth, but I was just thinking of childhood. Who didn’t love to go barefoot as a child? Stones, prickers, and bees be damned. So in the morning when I would take my beast out, I’d really try to commune with the wet grass and be one with the world. Exchange my ions or whatever needed a reboot. Really try to find quiet peace with the universe. Until…..I realized the number of dogs I’ve taken out on said grass over most of my lifetime, not to mention the abundance of wildlife I share my yard with, and ewwwww. My communion with nature was just a bit too personal, electrons be damned. Next time I need grounded, I’ll also take the childhood route and go straight to my room. With clean feet. And some grappa. Get naked with the window open, and ponder the meaning of that word.

NOOOOOO!!!!! You know the Progressive commercial about how not to become your parents? Hilarious! Until I realized it is about US, and they are making fun of US. I only own up to one thing, but there are others I’m sure. And I’m working on it. I do have an annoying habit of asking adults if they have to pee before we go out. I guess I make sure I hit the head before I leave the house, and kind of think it’s a good idea. For me and my TODDLERS. But now I have that commercial saying we all know how the bathroom works. Wait till he has to go and there’s no potty in sight. I’ve also been calling out ’a very dear friend’,who shall remain nameless so he can continue to be ’a very dear friend’. He doesn’t care how he looks to those younguns, so I must be the attack dog he just loves (?) to hear from. Little things. Those lines you are supposed to park Between. Nope. Doesn’t care. Paying with cash? THROWS down so many bills and change the poor cashier doesn’t have a clue what to do with. No problem. Take the penny and add it to the twenty and subtract the ones and give me a quarter and a nickel back. Yep that all makes sense. To him. Change and money are all just handled differently these days. Go with the flow. Now I do have something the younguns do that I think is stupid. Yes, stupid. Although all people do it. If you only need a few things at the grocery store why do you carry that big, bulky basket around? First off, you’ll probably pick up another item or two. And that basket is heavy just empty. Push the cart. Does that only make sense to me?? Light, fast, and no sore arms. Don’t even get me started on how long self-checkout takes. Kind of fun, but slowwwww. I’m practicing, though, because I know that will be my only option soon enough. Guess that will get me to stop drinking so I don’t have to announce to six stations that I need my ID checked. The really sad thing about all this, however, is that I just proved their point. I am cranky pants. Little things get on my nerves. I/me/we are old(ish) Boomlennials. Nothing that anyone aspires to be. If everyday is a gift, today was socks.