My favorite holiday has come and gone and no longer will I allow myself to use the F word. I reveled. I ate the chicken étouffée and drank the Hurricane(s). And I said F-a-t all day long in a celebratory voice while lusting after the King cake. But now I will use my Lenten voice for the next year until it’s appropriate to say f-a-t again in a good way. The Boomlennial (and all the other faceless generations I might add), have taken that word to replace every other derogatory thing we no longer say. The alphabet soup is getting quite thick, and I’m still trying to decipher some of the initials. I know the N word is awful, and the R word, and all the nationalities that have moved to be defined by their region instead of some creepy slang. I don’t care about people’s sex lives (ok that’s a lie I do), but not in a way to define them. Just when I figured out LGBT a Q emerged on the end and that one threw me off but my Questioning spirit got it right. So the only thing people rely on now to be mean to someone is to call them f-a-t in a mean or bullying or I’m not a nice person voice. Last weekend I was watching the Cavs with one of my dearests and there was a female announcer who was gratingly annoying. She would interview in a break but kept asking stupid questions long after the game resumed. And did it multiple times. Just rude and really bad sportmanship when the Cavs were kicking a$$. Finally one of my dearests said “get that fat woman to shut up already”. I agreed with the shut up part. BUT. She’s not even f-a-t. Rather petite actually. I realized that’s the last word that it’s still socially acceptable to say when you want to be critical for whatever reason. My dearest knew enough not to call her a dumb blonde because them are fightin words. Just kidding. Kind of. Maybe. Possibly. Why test the waters? So the venom shot out and I pounced. Fortunately the *ss whoopin was more fun so I moved on. Maybe. Possibly. Laissez les bons temps rouler!