If you ever want to laugh uncontrollably (who doesn’t), listen to this song by Weird Al. It got me. My wee dear one sang it to me not so long ago (not so wee, but plenty dear) and I was wrecked. In a good way. I could not stop laughing, and it’s been awhile since I’ve done that. At least I wasn’t in church. Which is why I quit going. Sit quietly and don’t laugh? Not on my watch. Anyway, the song is great, the lifestyle is not. How (why?) anyone chooses to live like that is beyond me. I don’t judge (of course I do) but just seems like a lot of extra work. And misery. Ok, I’m soft. And brilliant. First my freezer took a dump. Can deal with that. Bought a bag of ice that could live on the deck since the temps have been nipple curling. Then cooked up what was left in the freezer, which wasn’t much. Did find an unopened box of Thin Mints which almost made the demise worth it. I’m not on my game, though, if I left them in there for almost a year. Filled the fridge with a bunch of stuff I knew I’d probably not eat, but felt like a pioneer. And then. And then. A couple days later the fridge started feeling a bit warmer then usual. Still telling myself I’m imaging the curdled milk and warm cheese. Made a great recipe with the cottage cheese and blueberries, however. Keeping a good attitude. Then the ice storm. Besides being housebound with a frozen driveway and porch, the tv satellite dish froze up!?&$! NO TV WTF??????? I can put up with a lot. Go with the flow. Forgive and forget(ish). But I need my TVVVVVVVV! What are the Amish doing??? Not watching the Super Bowl I imagine. A day and a half. A long, ugly day and a half. It is hard to be this shallow, but I admit I neeeeeeed my MTV. And the news. And sports. All of it. Finally came up with a plan. Huge pole with a mop head and many many many buckets of hot water. Did I mention it was cold and icy? That day aged me. Almost as bad as the bats in the house. But at least I could sweat those out in the summer. I won’t even mention the crockpot that jumped off High and decided to cook my ribs all day on Warm. Nope, not going to mention it. Just living in an Amish paradise. If they are building points for the afterlife, I want some. “I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke Fool, I’m the kinda G the little homies wanna be like On my knees in the night, sayin prayers in the streetlight. Livin in a gangsta paradise. #choosingsides
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