Month: August 2020

I am a Karen. I mean, no, I am not a Karen. Well, I am a Karen, from the NancyDeniseSusieKathyDebbieDarleneBarbarahohum era. But, I am not A Karen, and I just don’t get it. Let me make this perfectly clear, (which is what every politician keeps saying as they make a terribly unclear statement), I don’t do those things. Whatever those ‘things’ are. It took me awhile to even figure out why everyone was using my name. Flattered, of course, but confused. Just thought my millions of followers were finally catching on. But as I heard it used more and more, I had to go right to the source. (Please don’t go. So not true.). What really took me aback (rightly so, not Karenly so), was they said ‘in the United States and other English speaking countries’. Hmmmm. I’m a world-wide phenomenon??? Now I am intrigued. And do kind of feel entitled. Maybe I don’t get all huffy and want to speak to the manager, but if the manager is good, he should want to speak to me. And you. The Boomlennial has put up with a lot of sh*t over the years. We’ve all had poor service, been ridiculed, discriminated against, laughed at by friend(?) and foe, and generally smiled and had a stiff upper lip as we were taught. Don’t rock the boat. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Don’t call in sick. Ever. Just weird things. So now I really have Karenoia. Most of the insinuations are pretty bad, but I’ll just overlook those in true Karen fashion. And pick and choose what I want to be a positive. If I finally have a ‘world-wide’ label, I might as well put lipstick on it. And feathers. And wonder why there are two birds in the bush but I should be happy with one. And remember I don’t even like birds, even hummingbirds. They look like big bugs. So now there are three birds in the bush. Geesh. Just too confusing. Need a name change. #youroyalhighness

Why Quarantwenties of course! And it’s roaring once again. Regaining my sense of humor, and trying to find funny in the absurd. And absurd has reached new levels of nuttiness. I did see the most adorable picture on FB today. The ‘Boys’, no names please, moved away, and yes I miss them. (Just checking if you’re still one of my followers #youbetterbe). Their son started his new school year, and they had the prerequisite ‘first day of’ picture with the cutie holding his third grade sign in his nice button down shirt. And then the follow up pictures when I realized he’s still sitting in his house getting ‘virtually’ schooled. It made me smile as I realized this is the new abnormal. There ain’t nothing ‘normal’ about any of this. So I try to find humor where I can, and make sh*t up when I can’t. There have been many analogies trying to explain the plague and how it spreads. I’m sure you’ve heard the pee one, and its gross and not funny. New one. There are four kids sitting at a table doing a craft project. One child is using glitter. How many children have glitter on their project?? See, explains it all. And makes me want to play with glue and glitter. Or just put Elmers on the back of my hand and peel it off when it dries. I know you get this so don’t act like I’m crazy. Funny stuff here. Just like a slinky, not really good for much, but brings a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. I’m making a choice to find humor in the humorless, and that’s not really my style. I can usually find a silver lining in a rainbow, but it’s ripped and ugly and maybe I’ll get struck by lightening or the power will go off or or or or. But now I am just chill and it has nothing to do with the mug-oh-wine I had for lunch. Just kidding, but a girl can dream. Sigh. Anyway, does anyone know what a emoticon is? I was playing a game where that was the word that my partner had to guess. So not fair. Already done. As is an ‘out of the office’ auto-reply. I am Never out of the office. The dang office follows me around all day like my oh-so-needy dog. I need my space!! And new back to school clothes!! And a massage!! And I hate massages!! And a cruise!! And I’ve never been on a cruise!! Oh dear. I digress. Better go sew that silver lining. Tonight’s forecast: 99%chance of wine