Now that I’m afraid to touch anything from the outside world without hosing it down first, I’m looking suspiciously at my floor. My dog is outside wandering through the Everglades, or desert, depending on Ohio’s wishy-washyness. (I tried to use a big word but couldn’t find it in my Google search. Guess I made it up). Said dog then comes in and spreads the whatever. So that three second rule is over, right? Not that I would ever eat anything that has been on the floor. Asking for a friend and all that. Everything is just kind of out of sorts in my world. It’s like living in Vegas. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour, I’m losing money by the minute, and it doesn’t really matter what time it is. I have learned a lot about myself during this exile, none of it that earth shattering. I love restaurants!! Going OUT to eat is my hobby. And I’m really good at it. Also, I spend way too much time at non-essential businesses. Yep, my life is kind of looking like that now, too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (There is.). What I’m most proud of discovering, however, is I spend way too much time touching my face. Never thought about that one before, but it’s down right scary. Won’t mention what my nails look like. You’ve got to see them to believe them. I know I don’t have to tell all I know, but I do I do! What else could I talk about if not my brilliant self? Okay, I’ll talk about other people. I hate your stupid family videos of covering songs, thinking it’s funny. To you, yes. To me, annoying. Also, news/weather people…I don’t want to see your kids wandering around, or your ugly dogs licking your face. Haha. Not funny. Feel good songs, nope. Like having to sit through you’re boring vacation pictures. What, pray tell, is a vacation, again? Sigh. Big sigh. One positive I do think will come out of this is no more hugging! Yipeee. I’ve found myself hugging people I don’t even know, or during awkward business exchanges. Just was always a weird line to cross or not. Now you’re poison, and I’m okay with that. Oprah was being interviewed on TV and she is taking it upon herself to ‘lift the countries spirits’. Now that’s quite the job, and quite the halo she has. Really? Are we looking to Oprah to make us feel better? I never did like her book club books. Always a victim. One that usually rose above the crisis. Not this time Lady O. I’ve got Governor Cuomo and his banana fingers. And the wave of locusts eating their way through Africa. And too much bad news. Blackjack!! Heading to the jewelry store. I need some fresh air. #unstablenogunsoreos