is going to burn in Hello. I love the feature, actually, but it is having a very negative effect on my writing. (Or is it affect? Where’s that help when I need it?). When you write a blogue, the real fun is grammar and spelling be damned. No red pen is coming after you. But that darn AC (not to be confused with the freezing summmer air which makes said wardrobe obsolete) just thwarts my creativity. And probably annoys them no end. Even AC doesn’t know what I’m trying to say half the time but keeps trying. Which basically makes me lazy as if I need help. Put in a couple letters and AC takes it from there. I just get tired of fighting with them. Have it your way, whatever. I know if you can’t keep up with the world, it’s not the world’s job to slow down. But just give me some pregame options. You can pick your own font and letter size (wish you could see how jumbo it is on my end. I’m on page three already) so let me decide to be an idiot, aka brilliant. Options, options. Only correct words with less than three letters. Let cuss words slide. If you write something in one giant paragraph it speaks for itself. I recently spent a week with my wee dearests and was just amazed by the scope of their language and understanding. And it was a bit disconcerting that they were trying to parent me and succeeding. I kept asking advice and they kept delivering. Freaky. I couldn’t even let the water out of their bathtub without help. Maybe that should have been our little secret shhh. Anyway, my weeest (damn AC) saw some flowers petals all spread out on the floor in a public restroom and asked why. I explained that someone’s flower must have fallen apart. She let out the best daaaamit I ever heard. Totally modular and heartfelt. What else was appropriate to say at that time? I couldn’t correct her (or laugh daaaamit) but sometimes there is only one word or phrase to make a point. Which leads me to zero-0-Oh-O-o. Time to go. I’ve spent way too much energy wondering if something’s an O or an 0? I can’t be the only one. (Can I? Oh dear). AC should figure it out but let me be my own critiquer. Hah!
Month: October 2018
Keepin It Brownsy
The struggles of my beloved football team have been well rehashed by every snarky bleacher report and sports genius. Which every male thinks he is and some females #metoo. So now that they have actually won a game or two (who can remember?) it doesn’t mask the fact that they are still keepin it Brownsy. Nothing comes easy in the Hardland. Including that terrible tag line which would make a great name for a gentleman’s club. Before I digress, I’m going to digress. Keeping it Brownsy should be in the Urban Dictionary. V.-when you can’t move past your reputation; N.-you are what your record says you are. (Don’t overthink those V’s and N’s. It’s a blogue remember.). Many Boomlennials approach life that way. This is who I am. This is what I do. And they get stuck. I don’t have to worry about winning. My game is my game. Which is great unless you’re Brownsy and then you need to step it up or end up in the dregs of mediocrity and boringnesdom. (Gosh I love a blogue.). Which brings me to the Suannee River. Which I bet you thought was spelled Swanee River like the Al Jolson song. Which has nothing to do with keepin it Brownsy but I heard on GMA that a hurricane might be headed that way and I had to do some reconnaissance to see where it was. And I’m not telling. Do your own research Beahch. Anyway, if I ever get another dog Swannee is his name. I have lofty goals. Which brings me to fruity essence. Which has nothing to do with rivers but I liked how it sounded and don’t really think that cute little phrase could be poisoning sparkling water media be damned. Which makes me think that perhaps I have had too much coffee this morning and am basking in the glow of a Brown’s victory and beautiful fall weather. Which is ok but I was just going to start counting all the times I used the word which, which is way too Brownsy for a #brilliantBoomlennial #Brownsyisacutedognametoo