I won’t tell you a story about my cousin’s friend who died of lemons. Words can be tricky. And scary. And sometimes totally worthless. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Really? Are they? I’m sorry for your loss. Who even talks like that? When ‘you know who you are’ utter those banal sentiments there is surely a message you want to convey. But what is it? Would it be so hard to come up with an original phrase that at least made the receiver not immediately throw the card away? No I wouldn’t do that. Ok maybe. Once(ish). ‘You know who you are’ wouldn’t want to do anything to add more pain to the situation so they fall back into the socially acceptable, unmemorable tried and not necessarily true phrases. Sometimes a genuine, emotional outburst at least conveys that you are trying to connect. One of my dearest was at the funeral of one of her dearest and a friend told her that she understands how she feels because her Rolex died and she was so upset. Can’t make this stuff up. But telling time is important. And it was a Rolex after all. But, as ridiculous as that sounded at the time it was just someone trying to connect as best they could. If you pray for me thanks but don’t stand and wait for a pat on the back. ‘You know who you are’ stood and told me three times that she was praying for me until I realized I wasnt giving back the response she was looking for. Yes you are wonderful and thanks so much for going beyond anything I could imagine and no I’m not worthy of your prayers but let me comfort you. Ok that was snarky but still. Words are powerful but a totally inappropriate comment at least makes me know that ‘you know who you are’ is wishing they had just said I’m sorry for your loss.